I dreamed of one day having your kid.
I constantly fantasize about the home in which we would live.
I thought about how we will build out empire.
How we can look back on the naysayers and call them all liars.
I dreamed about our wedding day, I wanted a church wedding you wanted the beach but i think its insane.
Now all I dream about is all of this pain.
Now all I dream about is all of this pain.
I feel this hurt because I was living in a fantasy world misconstruing all the things that you said.
When I was trying to run because you would piss me off you will make me feel better instead.
I love to touch you and I love the way you feel.
But this love that I built for you in my head and never was real.
It was like you were sending me subliminal messages that you desired more.
Maybe it was just me create this facade so when I was with you I wouldn't be so bored.
Maybe it was just me create this facade so when I was with you I wouldn't be so bored.
I wanted to be in love with you so damn bad.
When you fought for me you made me believe you wanted that back.
Now I'm sitting here trying to disconnect myself from you; upset that I have to lose a friend.
Because I can't keep myself attached to you and allow my heart to mend.
At times I loved you more than myself.
I jeopardized my sanity and allowed you to manipulate my health.
You played this mental game of only calling me your buddy but then calling me Queen.
While you did relationship things like helping me work through my issues and not allowing to completely leave.
You teased me with a kiss and made me think I was more than enough.
You played on my triggers of what I desired from love.
But I cannot continue this competition of yes, no maybe, it can no longer be a thing.
I am not your puppet and you are not my master dangling me from your string.
I never understood how people can miss something they never had.
Until I met you and I begin to miss you so bad.
But now you can miss me with your bullshit cause friends is all we can be.
I deserve better than someone who is gonna miss out on the greatness that is me.
At times I loved you more than myself.
I jeopardized my sanity and allowed you to manipulate my health.
You played this mental game of only calling me your buddy but then calling me Queen.
While you did relationship things like helping me work through my issues and not allowing to completely leave.
You teased me with a kiss and made me think I was more than enough.
You played on my triggers of what I desired from love.
But I cannot continue this competition of yes, no maybe, it can no longer be a thing.
I am not your puppet and you are not my master dangling me from your string.
I never understood how people can miss something they never had.
Until I met you and I begin to miss you so bad.
But now you can miss me with your bullshit cause friends is all we can be.
I deserve better than someone who is gonna miss out on the greatness that is me.
I'll always support your dreams I'll be there for you when its just my friendship you need.
However for now, my healing will only come if we live out lives separately.
SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman
