Taboos of Pleasure

For centuries women have been deemed subconsciously unworthy of pleasure. We're marked as whores or promiscuous if we desire to have any kind of sexual pleasure from a partner. The why is this taboo so common all of the world.

 The best place to start is with the way society is set up. We live in a world that is a patriarchal society with it being led by christian, cisgender, straight, white, economically well off, men. So in turn if you do not fit into any of those categories or some and not the other then you are deemed not worthy of pleasure. And your worthiness of pleasure decreases with every strike that you have.

For many years how often did we see the movies glorify those people who fit in those categories. They're always happy, they're always pleased and they're always fulfilled. But in turn you always had them paired with a submissive quiet homebody and possibly a mistress that is wild and kinky on the side who is being the whore. 

Because these boxes were put in place to keep people on a pyramid scale where the white, cisgender, straight, Christian, will to do man remains of that peak. They had to look like the alpha male and what better way to do that than to create the most natural feeling in the world which is a sexual desire around him. 

But enter in a new society. The further we get along in society by creating social norms of bipoc people, those who identify as women and acceptance of various religions and the lgbtqia community the more normal the pleasure will be for everyone. 

Why should pleasure be a taboo for anyone. Why should anyone feel ashamed of wanting to have my blowing orgasms with someone that they completely consent with. It should not be a taboo. Wanting to have pleasure and do it in a consensual manner is not wrong. So once we recognize those taboos that were created by this patriarchal society then everyone can get to finding pleasure.

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

Consent

With all the reason accusations and convictions surrounding sexual abuse, consent is a hard topic to discuss. But I'm ready to take on the challenge.

Let's start with the dictionary definition...

What is the definition of consent? 

Meridian Webster defines it as: to give assent or approval. 

But how does this translate when you're talking about sexual encounters. First and foremost, a person should always ask for consent. No matter how long you've been with that person, how many different things you've done with that person, or what type of relationship people established with that person, consent should always be given.

I when in doubt remember I'm thinking about it means no. Maybe means no. I'm not sure means no. And most importantly NO means NO. 

Parents should start this discussion with their children small. Let them know that they have limits and that their boundaries should never be compromised. Stop forcing your children to do things they don't want to do like hug that Uncle that they feel skeptical about. This will create unhealthy boundaries for the child. Blurred lines as a child unfortunately carry over into our adulthood.

As adults we should feel comfortable enough to have these discussions with our partner or partners. Don't be afraid to say no. Don't be afraid to feel uncomfortable with not pleasing the ego of the person that you're with. They're either maybe fragile, but your comfort when it comes to consent is even more fragile. Have these discussions with your partner prior to you getting hot and heavy. Let them know you're dislikes let them know your likes and most definitely let them know your hard No's.

With the practice of making a child comfortable as a parent with defining boundaries accompanied with establishing those boundaries with your partner or partners in adulthood, this should create a more pleasurable experience for everyone. Also, eliminating the possibility of denial of consent turning into a sexual offense.

And in conclusion sex is so much better when you know what the other wants. So don't be afraid to say yes I want that and I like that. But also do not be afraid to say no I won't do that at all and I prefer you not do that. This takes away the thoughts of uncomfort and creates a more clear mind for pleasure. 

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman