Men, It’s OK to Not Be OK—But Get Help

For generations, men have been taught to "man up," to hide their emotions, and to equate vulnerability with weakness. We've been conditioned to believe that strength means silence, and that asking for help is somehow a failure of character. The consequences of this mindset are devastating and measurable.

The Hidden Crisis

According to the World Health Organization, men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues, yet they are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide. In the United States, 75% of all suicides are committed by men. Globally, suicide is one of the leading causes of death among men under 50.

These numbers are not just statistics—they represent fathers, brothers, husbands, friends, and sons. They represent stories that ended too soon because someone felt they had nowhere to turn.

Why Men Struggle in Silence

There are many reasons why men avoid addressing their mental health. Cultural expectations often demand stoicism, independence, and emotional restraint. Many men grow up without being taught the language to talk about their feelings—let alone the confidence to do so. For some, the fear of judgment or being perceived as “weak” outweighs the pain they carry inside.

Mental health struggles don’t always look the same in men, either. Instead of sadness or anxiety, men may exhibit irritability, anger, substance abuse, or withdrawal. These symptoms are often overlooked or misinterpreted, even by medical professionals.

Breaking the Stigma

It’s time to change the narrative. Mental health is not a gendered issue—it’s a human one. There is nothing unmanly about being overwhelmed. There is nothing weak about asking for support. In fact, it takes incredible courage to confront your inner battles and seek help.

Therapy is not just for crises—it’s for clarity. Counseling, medication, support groups, mindfulness practices, and healthy routines can transform lives. Just as you wouldn’t ignore a broken bone or chronic pain, you shouldn’t ignore persistent sadness, anxiety, or hopelessness.

A New Definition of Strength

True strength lies in honesty. In admitting when things aren’t okay. In showing up for yourself and the people who care about you. Taking responsibility for your mental health doesn’t diminish your masculinity—it redefines it.

Men who speak out create a ripple effect. By being open about their struggles, they give others permission to do the same. Vulnerability, when met with support, becomes a bridge to resilience.

What You Can Do—Today

Talk to someone. Whether it’s a friend, a partner, a therapist, or a hotline, speak your truth.

Check on your brothers. Ask the men in your life how they’re really doing. Be the person they can open up to.

Educate yourself. Learn the signs of depression, anxiety, and burnout in men. Knowledge reduces stigma.

Lead by example. If you’re struggling, share your story when you're ready. Someone else might need to hear it.

You’re Not Alone

If you're reading this and you’re hurting, please know this: you are not broken. You are not weak. You are not alone. There is help, and there is hope. Reaching out might feel uncomfortable at first—but it could be the most important decision you ever make.

It’s okay to not be okay.

But it’s even better to get help.

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

How is one word a full sentence?

NO! 

Yes, that word is a full and complete sentence. And you reserve the right to use it at any point in time. You do not have to say yes to everyone. Saying yes to everyone will cause you stress and, furthermore, bad health. Not everyone deserves her yes. Not everyone is worthy of your yes. Only a few people deserve the ability to hear your yes. Also, it is not selfish to put yourself first to maintain good health mentally, spiritually, and physically.

It took me years, almost 40 to be exact, to learn the pleasure of the word no. As a people pleaser, I always wanted to make sure everyone around me was happy. I always made sure I put other people first and never thought twice about it. Then I found myself losing hair, having high blood pressure, and wondering why I was gaining excessive weight year after year. Then I realized I do everything for everyone except myself. So I learned to put myself first. I learned that no was an okay word to use, and yes, it is a complete sentence. The pleasure of learning no has created less stress in my life as well as allowed me the ability to love myself fully.

So remember, one little word is a full sentence.

NO!

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

POETRY: When separation becomes realization

Trying to separate love and sex is an art that many women cannot fathom.

These desires all relate back to the days when Eve was not led properly by Adam. 

When a man's touch makes it no easier by measure.  

Trying to figure out if his affection is his way of showing love or just his way of trying to get pleasure.

We can say time and time again don't kiss us don't hold us let's just fuck.

But you like to misconstrue the lines and wonder why we consistently act up.

You have us thinking that you're falling in love when in reality, you just like to blur the lines.

We start to think that this is more when in reality our pussy is just the way of you passing your time.

Then, when that mom moment of realization comes that we have to cut this off because you're not worthy of what we have to offer.

You break your neck and exploit us into thinking we could take this further.  

Then we get trapped in this Spider Web of Lies and manipulation

Until the day comes when the sex between us only becomes penetration.

Then we wake up from the delusion that you have set in our minds.

Begin to focus on ourselves and leave you behind.

Only for you to then beg us to fulfill that desire and relieve you of that itch. 

But when we deny you and you get mad all of a sudden we're a bitch. 

So what you don't realize is we've always been this bitch but our love for you allowed us to hide. 

And we suppressed so much anger and pain to hold it inside. 

We only wanted to satisfy our inclination for love with the sex that you yearn for. 

However, now that we see who you truly are and see your cravings are no longer our burden. 

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

POETRY: Your Water

I may not be you're cup of tea. But I'm the water you require.  

Why do you need tea when I can be your water? I'm the 60% that makes up you. I'll carry the nutrients and provide oxygen that your soul needs. I'll give you the peace you need to regulate your blood pressure when the world is on your back. When you're feeling overheated and lack mental hydration, I'll be the quench that you need. Just like water to the body, I'll aid in regulating your spirit. I'll provide the cushioning you need for the falls your soul may feel. I'll help heal the wounds placed on your hearts, just as water heals physical wounds to your body. 

Though I may not come with lemon and honey, I may be flavored with mango or sweetened with sugar. However, you prefer your tea. I would love to be the Gallon of water that you need to make it through life's trials and keep your heart, mind, and soul floating like a ship that you can relax on and enjoy the view in complete tranquility and happiness. 

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

POETRY: "AND I LIVE!"

My heart is guarded from the pain you caused. Locked doors that no keys to open. Bricks being built on a wall everyday keep all the bad people away. But not realizing that because the Ghost of You Still haunts me those bricks are keeping out real love from getting to the heart that was meant for them. Realizing that there's beautiful people out there that want me. But I can't see to open up because the last time that I did my soul was taken by someone who didn't know how to handle it. Realizing that I gave my heart someone that decided to miss you. And that pain still cut so deeply that the brick wall that car is my heart Safe Haven that I know. Solitude has become the sanctuary City to my soul like refugees escaping from their land the only place I've ever felt safe in a long time. And even and my safe place I fear someone is going to come along snatch me up and put me back into place of destitute that I escaped from. So every day I live in fear that Someone Like You will come along and rip my heart out my chest again. Devouring it like the demon that you were. That they will feast on my intentionally pure spirit. However I work daily to get past the malnourishment of my soul. I pushed forward an attempt to release the emptiness that seems to linger after you left. As God is my witness I will learn to love again and Trust again and live in connection with someone again. So I release you. I release the pain. I release the fear. I release the destitute of emotional connection that you left me in. And I live!

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman