The Importance of True Inclusion

Lets start here. Have you ever felt like an outsider? At some point all of us have had that moment where we felt like we just did not fit in. Whether it was in school during our awkward faze of life. Or if in your adult life you have been out with friends and just felt like you were not part of the crowd. Well imagine waking up and feeling like that everyday of your life because you are different from the typical. Unfortunately there are people who live with this reality everyday.

Some people wake up in a society everyday where they feel excluded and unrecognized.They all fit into different categories and labels that society has placed on them. Whether it be because they are gay, of color or a woman. They are not included for some reason. 

Growing up I was a chubby child. I was teased horribly. I was cute as a button but I never fit in. Why did I feel like I never fit in? It was because people were not inclusive with me. I was called names and teased by the masses and was treated different. Until one day a girl came up to me and said wow you have such pretty hair. Looking at her stunned that anyone could find anything remotely attractive about me I didn't even say thank you. I just looked confused. Because though no one ever told me I was ugly the teasing made me believe I was. She was like hi and introduced herself. That at this point was a turning point for me. I finally found my lane and I begin to make friends. 

This is why inclusion is so important. Just a minimal hello or how are you can help someone to fill included and loved. So many people in this world feel like they are not loved and some go never getting that until they are old or even dead. Some people are disowned by family because of who they love, who they are or even who they become in life. That person may feel broken and in shambles but your simple acknowledgement can be a beacon of light. This alone can create a world wind of appreciating that leads to the next person and then the next. LOVE IS GREATER THAN HATE. 

One of my favorite quotes is by Sean Covey he said "Don't wait til someone is dead to give them flowers." Which to me translate to don't wait to appreciate the people around you until they are gone. It does not matter if you are looked at as strange, if you family or friends don't approve or even if you feel that the person you support is morally wrong. We are all put here for one purpose TO LOVE! You should not worry about anyone's moral compass but your own. Because your compass only detects the direction you are heading in. So be a morally good person and love everyone even if you do not agree with them or see things the same way. You never know they may be able to teach you something. 

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

Why Black Lives Matter

BECAUSE THEY DO, THEY ALWAYS HAVE AND NEVER WENT NOTICED, AND NOW WE GOTTA STAND UP FOR THEM!

THAT IS IT!

DON'T LIKE IT, WELL THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM & YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF OFF MY PAGE, THANKS!!!!

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

INJUSTICE - DO SOMETHING!!!!

I know a lot of people say that they can't do anything to change the Injustices that are happening in America or around the world. Here are some things I recommend and implemented myself. And this is just a start....

Educate yourself

Un-Indoctrinate yourself by learning the truths by reading valid statistics and educational material. Speak with the people instead of alienating yourself from them.

Educate others 

Simply put teach other people what you know. when you see someone doing something unjust they may not be educated on what they're doing. But let them know. Teaching is reaching! and even if they don't want to listen, understand it, or change their mind you did what you were supposed to do.

Advocate for legislation

Write letters to legislation. Let them know what you will and will not stand for. band together with other people with similar minds as well as groups with similar minds. And all of you do the same thing by writing and advocating legislation.

Demonstrate

Showing passion ignites passion and other people. Being someone of a different background then what you're protesting for can make other people that are similar to yourself join the cause. This gives you an opportunity to go back to number to and educate other people.

Create public awareness

Put together a group of people that includes those on social media who can help you advocate. This will allow you to petition with large groups, survey with large groups, and raise money with large groups. Make sure that these people have a like mind and I'm willing to do the work.

Face people that are demonstrating counteractive behavior to your system

you cannot be afraid you have to be able to face people head-on as well as write letters to companies that don't demonstrate the right behaviors. Or even to politicians who don't display the right behaviors. It's going to have to be some point when you fight hard enough to make a change.

Get the pressed involved

Nothing like the fire under the ass of people who are unjust like the press. People don't want to he seen for their negative. Exposure is everything to promote change.

ALSO YOU CAN IF YOU HAVE TIME OFF FROM WORK....

VISIT LOCAL CITY COUNSEL MEETINGS

If you do not work during the day most events take time during those hours. However in some cases they offer evening meetings.

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

Panic and the results of it.

During times like right now admits a pandemic it can cause a lot of people to panic. However that can be controlled and does not have to be an option or your norm. 

We will visit some options for control as well as help. 

I, as well as many others know that in a time like this it can be tragic on your mind and soul. When you have to distance yourself from the people you love and break yourself of your norm it can throw many into a state of anxiety and depression. Not to mention adding on the risk of our loved ones health or even our own. 

We are not getting the natural human connection or touch that helps a lot of us exist. As well as not being able to do our normal routines. We  have things we do daily, weekly and monthly like working, haircuts, going to the gym or even sending your children to school can drain you of your energy not because it is physically exhausting but yet it is emotionally exhausting.

Let me preface this by saying I am not a licensed or trained medical or psychological doctor. But I suffer from anxiety and all these things I practice to help me with attacks as well as maintaining myself from having attacks. 

I am going to walk you through understanding panic/anxiety attacks. Then we will go through how to manage or avoid having them all together.

Understanding Panic Attacks

Panic attacks can come in various forms. They can be as small as a negative thought that last a few seconds and keeps you from concentrating to a shaking trembling, unable to breath or function cumbersome state. Both can be equally as terrifying and can lead to another more unfavorable attack. 

Some of the most common symptoms you will see when having a panic attack is: racing heart, nervousness, tingling in hands and fingers, shaking, trembling or muscle twitches, weakness, lethargy, difficulty focusing, rapid or heavy breathing and sweating.  

Unfortunately these can lead to more serious conditions and feelings. Some of those serious things you need to look for are feelings of danger or dread, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues like gas, constipation or diarrhea, OCD about certain things and ideas, changing your life drastically in ways that will cause lifestyle problems in order to avoid triggering your anxiety. 

With a panic attack you can feel all or some of the above. Most people describe feeling a racing heart, sweating and feeling faint. There chest tightens and you feel as if yo can not catch your breath. You begin to feel light headed and sometimes as if you're chocking of even going to throw up. All of this can be paralyzing to your body as if you can not control your muscles, mind or body as a whole. 

TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. IT IS NO NEED TO WORRY! I HAVE BEEN THERE AND IT IS THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HELP!

Trying to prevent panic attacks

Preventing panic attacks is not a sure fire way of dealing with anxiety but for most people it can help. Below is a list of things you can do to attempt avoiding panic attacks. 

1. Know what triggers your panic attacks

Keep a log of when your panic attacks happen. Time, day, what happens during the attack but most importantly what you were doing minutes even hours before the attack happens. Keeping this log will help you to understand if the things that are triggering your attacks are something you can change in order to lessen or even eliminate the attacks.  

2. Exercise 

Being in better shape can not only help you with being healthier physically but mentally. It balances hormones, increases endorphins. This helps you release negative thoughts, create relationships with yourself and others you work out with. Makes you more sociable and increases confidence. 

3. Find an outlet

You can talk to a trusted friend, family member or counselor, keep a journal or meditate. Finding a way to vent your anger, frustration or stress allows you to release it from the body. It keeps you from keeping any form of pinned up negative energy. Doing this will allow you to not build up the negative and eventually reach a breaking point.

A scripture I use when I am having an anxiety attack is Psalm 94:19 
Psalm 94:19  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy

Handling a panic attacks when it happens

Unfortunately even if we can try to prevent panic attacks they will creep in every so often.When they do please do not fret and continue to panic cause they can be managed. Just remember this one thing. YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY EVEN IF IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT IN THE MOMENT!! Just follow these things below and 9.9 times out of 10 they will work. 

1. Recognizing your having a panic attack
The first time you have a panic attack it comes out of no where. You do not know what is happening and it is hard to understand. It can be both overwhelming and almost crippling. But once you know what it is you can manage it if it comes. First make sure you identify the symptoms you have and use your knowing what triggers your panic attacks log to help you know and identify your attack. 

2. Close your eyes
Centering yourself away from your surroundings will allow you to leave what is bothering you and enter into a positive mind state. 

3. Breath - Nice deep breaths

I know it will be hard. It will hurt and it will take everything you have in you but BREATH. The most common thing people experience during a panic attack is the feeling of lack of oxygen. This leads to most of the other symptoms that come. So if you can chase your breathing and center it the following will come easy. 

4. Relax your muscles 
Relaxing your muscles will allow you to breath easier as well as get to a comfortable space internally. Use this in conjunction with deep breaths to allow the stress to seemingly lift off of your shoulders and chest causing a relaxed state of mind.

5. Find your happy place or a happy thought 
Before you use this technique know where your happy place is. It could be thoughts of a beach front villa with a pineapple drink and the sound of the waves crashing or as simple as you home bath full of bubbles and candlelight. It is totally up to you as long as it brings you peace of mind it will help you to relax. 

6. Find you a mantra and repeat it (over and over if you have to)
Find something positive to repeat that helps you to calm and center. This can be a spiritual mantra or a personal mantra. Make sure it is something that is encouraging and keeps you with happy and positive thoughts. i.e. "I am better, I am healed"
7. Find rational thoughts 
Finding rational thoughts while in panic mode is very hard but completely necessary. Once you have centered it is good to use your mind to say. Okay this is what I freaked out about and this is why it should not make me panic. You can also use crazy irrational thoughts that are absolutely absurd to help you get to a rational place. A friend of mine Dr Edward Coffey who is a licensed psychiatric said look at yourself in the mirror and say " I am a hippopotamus" Not only will you laugh but you will realize just how irrational you sound and realize your ration.

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman

If you or a friend you know has been suffering from anxiety or depression and can not find a practice that helps you with your anxiety please seek medical attention with a licensed professional. As I referenced before my Dr Edward Coffey is available and works with most insurances. His prices can be as low as $50/ session and he can be reached at (919) 294-6945 Please do not suffer when there are so many options for help!!