I manipulated myself into believing you loved me. And spent months upon months coarsening myself to believe I loved you too. Spent so much wasted time trying to make you mine completely. I was naive and dumb to trust that you would change if I just loved you a little harder. You used that to manipulate me into the place that you wanted me. I allowed you to avoid contact with me and then maneuver your way back in with blatant lies. All because I was intoxicated with the idea of creating the perfect love with you. Your obsession with me made me feel loved. But that I know now was just narcissistic exploitation. Words of adoration and promises made feel you were going to change for the better. Until I was once again disappointed that you never followed through. Prayers, Faith and Hope attached that we could be that love story I always dreamed of. Yet I was still spending time making excuses and responsibility for things you did to deceive me. I never could contemplate why you would invest time into me if you did not truly love me. Why would this man continue to try and beg for me if I was only one of many that he wanted. So I spent sleepless nights and tearful days analyzing every move you made. Trying so hard to fit this puzzle piece into the picture of love I painted for us. When in reality it was never a piece that fit all along. When I realized that you only kept me around for a convenience. I stroked your ego among other things. You used me to make yourself feel good then left me wondering what I meant to you and if what we had was real. You played with my anxiety and purposefully made me concerned for the loss of our imaginary love. You were wrong for how you played with who I am as a woman and how hard I love. But my love never stopped and I am not going to change who I am because you decided to control my hearts desires for your self-importance. I release you.
SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman
