POETRY: "The Break Up"

When we first met you inspired and gave me desire to live to the potential inside me.
But after time you continued to break my heart and play on my insecurities.

See my problem is I let you make me your woman before we became best friends.
And neglecting to do that didn’t allow me to see how much of a boy you are instead of a man.

You orchestrated lie after lie to keep me from finding out and that just backfired in your face.
The sad part is you can screw her, be true to her, and new to her but she will never take my place.

I loved you so hard that I neglected my well-being and it affected my health.
Thankfully I didn’t lose my connection to God because I completely lost myself.

I offered you peace and solidarity, a love that came from a place of God’s divine intervention.
See you will never have that again because you deal with whores that lie and only use to seek your attention

There is nothing I can do or nothing I can say that can force you to love me right.
I can love you can and I can play the role but I will never be your wife.

I can fertilize this and plant the seed for this thing to nurture and grow.
But when it likes commitment from you it’s pointless and I have to let go.

I tried to give you all of me and even a little  more
But I don’t want to be your number 1 if there is a 2, 3 and 4.

Because though I am afflicted by what you have put me through.
Gods work and his word have brought me to a place of new value.

Though I was slightly damaged by you, I still count you as a blessing.
I realize some people are brought in our lives to for a season just to teach you a lesson.

I never thought I could be that girl to be so consumed with a boy.
For someone that could neglect me and play with me like a toy.

But it’s no longer about the fact that I fell.
I must reflect on the fact that I came through this well.

From now I will be more selective on the man I choose.
Because it’s your loss and me I will never loose.

I praise God that he brought me through from the pain you caused in my heart.
And with the mental clarity of knowing though you’re unfaithful I was never carless on my part.

See I could have played with your heart too and had you thinking I was with another man.
I could have played with your emotions and ripped you apart like I know I can.

But the one thing I have that you may never possess is dignity and respect.
I don’t play childish games anymore and I don’t operate in neglect.

I acted in loyalty staying by your side praying one day you will love me right but I had to learn.
Love is something someone should just give and not something you have to earn.

So the next man that decides to come in my life and wants to pursue me.
Well let’s just say you have made me strong enough where they will not run right through me.

Now that I have cried and went through the pain I can smile.
Because I know that you will realize everything you had in me after a while.

As for you, don’t keep looking in your past at the hurt you were cause all along.
Because whether it is I or someone else you will look back in front of you and they will be gone.

I never seem to understand how someone can have a loyal girl and manage to abuse her.
Neglect to realize who they have until the day comes when they lose her.

So unless you change the man you are to be better for God and myself.
You have no say so in my life nor will you determine my Wealth.

It is going to take you going through hell and back to get me to be with you again.
But I refuse to be with someone who can’t live up to the potential of a man.

The choice at this point is yours and that is something you have to make.
Just if you take the steps to be with me, don’t come back at me with the same mistakes.

Cause I refuse to allow you to open a door of pain that God has closed for business.
For something meaningless and something that seems so relentless.  

I refuse to allow you to boost your Ego and your pride at the expense of my heart.
You’re going to have to make some changes and learn to play your part.

Because if you are the man you say you are you would have never brought me through this pain.
Seek within yourself a better you and seek to find what God designed for you when he gave you a name.

Because the man I know the man I see you to be.
You’re not a playboy or whom you choose to let the world see.

I see your hurt and pain and I see the things you been through.
Hell I seen into your heart simply because of the hell you put me through.

But Hell I shall have no more because when a good girl says goodbye she is gone forever.
It’s up to you to keep me if you want me and it’s your choice to make all things better.

I am not promising I will take you back because it’s in how you attempt to prove yourself.
I am too emotionally spent to deal with any more pain so until them my heart is put on a shelf. 

SIGNING OFF - Virtuous Woman